15 Funniest Guitar Jokes and Puns (Guitarists Can Relate)

guitar jokes

Written by: Cody

Updated: Nov 1, 2022

There’s nothing quite like a good guitar pun to make you chuckle (or groan, depending on your sense of humor).

Being able to play guitar is awesome, although this post is all about not taking things too seriously and hearing what little jabs are out there for us guitarists.

Check out the full list of guitar jokes below.

Guitar Jokes

1. What is the difference between a savings bond and a guitarist?

Eventually a savings bond will mature and earn money.

2. How many guitarists does it take to play Stairway to Heaven?

Apparently all of them.

3. What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig?

Would you like fries with that?

4. How do you get a guitarist to stop playing?

Put sheet music in front of them.

5. What is the difference between a rock guitarist, and a jazz guitarist?

One plays three chords in front of thousands of people, the other plays thousands of chords in front of three people.

6. Why are so many guitar player jokes one liners?

So the rest of the band can understand them.

7. What do you call a female police officer who plays guitar?


8. What’s God’s favourite chord?


9. How does a guitarist greet another guitarist?

“I’m better than you”

10. How long does it take to tune a 12-string guitar?

Nobody knows.

11. What do a cup of coffee and Eric Clapton have in common?

They both suck without Cream.

12. What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?


13. What’s the difference between a guitar player and a bag of garbage?

The garbage gets taken out at least once a week.

14. How do you get a million dollars?

Start off with 2 million and try to make a living playing the guitar.

15. What do you call a guitarist that never finishes a job?

A quitar.

Guitar Puns

I also thought I’d compile a short list of guitar puns you can use when talking to another guitarist. Drop these during a casual conversation and they’ll know exactly what you mean ;).

  • Get yourself a G-string
  • Pick on someone your own size
  • Fingerpickin’ good (fingerlickin’ good also works)
  • Case closed
  • Fixing your nuts

List of Reasons Why Guitars Are Better Than Men

  • Guitars never argue, you are always right
  • Guitars don’t snore
  • Guitars never wake you up in the middle of the night, for any reason
  • When your guitar is being played too slow, you can speed up
  • Your guitar will never earn more than you do for the same job just because it’s a Guitar
  • You don’t have to continually assure your guitar that its string length is just right

List of Reasons Why Guitars Are Better Than Women

  • Guitars don’t care if you look at other Guitars
  • Your Guitar won’t care if you leave the toilet seat up
  • If you say bad things to your Guitar, you don’t have to apologize before you play it again
  • You can play your Guitar the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother
  • If you break a guitar’s G-string, it only costs $0.79 for a new one
  • Guitars don’t care how many other Guitars you have

Funny Guitar Videos

Here are a few funny guitar videos. If you’re a guitarist you’ll definitely be able to relate.

1) How Guitar Players Practice

2) Ultimate Guitar Fails Compilation

3) 10 Ways to Hold a Guitar (For Beginners)

4) Guitar Players Who Suck

Final Thoughts

Having a good laugh is always a great feeling especially when it’s about something you can relate to. Hopefully, you found a few of these guitar jokes and puns funny.

If you have any of your own guitar jokes, puns, or anything else that’s funny and related to guitar post it in the comments section below!

About Cody
Cody is the founder of Musician Tuts, a free tutorial hub for musicians. He has over 15 years of experience playing a variety of instruments and dabbling in audio engineering. He spends his days blogging, listening to Spotify, and playing music.

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